Taking the poison out of relationships

James 4:10-17

1. Into Our History:

Icebreaker: Have group members discuss words or phrases we use of putting down others and making ourselves look better?

Question: What is it in human nature that makes us gravitate towards criticism?

2. Into the Bible: Read James 4:10-17

A. Relationships and humility

i. The key to having healthy relationships in the Church is humility. What is the nature of humility?

• The way up is the way down.
• The lowly one becomes the lifted one.
• The marked advantage of humility is honor.

ii. Discussion: Why is humility such a foreign concept? In other words pride is so attractive to human nature whereas humility is sometimes displayed as a weakness.

B. Relationships and criticism Criticism is like a poison which effects the person criticizing and the view of the person who you criticize.

Read verses 11 and 12

• James says if you slander and criticize you actually criticize the Law.
• To slander means to accuse and is opposite of a humble spirit.
• James says when we slander and criticize we put ourselves as self styled Judges.
• He James goes on the say a humble attitude is the anecdote for a critical spirit and essential for spiritual growth.

C. Relationships and boasting James 4:13-17

James not only address conflict and criticism but also boasting. James says that boasting is tantamount to a person who makes plans apart from God. This is foolish because

• Man’s ways are tentative.
• His plans are not his own.
• Time is not his own.
• His life is not his own.
• His life is a mist.

3. Into our lives:

James concludes his thoughts with advice given throughout his letter, “doing good” is a recipe for spiritual maturity. Failure to do so is sin.

In light of what we have studied, how can we do good in the following areas?

• How can I express more humility in relationships?
• How can I empty myself of criticism?
• How can I trust God and leave boasting?